There are always young attractive men and women no matter where you go or how you live. All throughout our lives we are met with obstacles, trial and error, and even temptation. Up to this point As a wife of 6 almost 7 years I have been able to refute temptation and uphold my integrity and virtue. However in life there are always people around who either cheat or have been cheated on. I often times find myself wondering about the will power of others; More specifically “Why do men cheat?
(I also have an interest in why women cheat, but for the purposes of this article I will be focusing on men. Please stay tuned for this article on women.)
Today there are people around us expressing themselves in different ways, living their lives opposite to others while coexisting in the same communities. With such variety you really start to gather a bit of perspective into other alternatives to a “Traditional” lifestyle. With media as it is today we as a society are exposed to (with or without our knowledge and/or consent) content that may or may not enter our subconscious and allow us to believe that even “wrong” things are right and acceptable. This makes us so insensitive to real issues of life and causes us to be… well “shock proof.”
It is believed that from the beginning of time men always in one way or another indulged in the intimate company of more than his wife. In ancient times me of power often had “Hotels full” of concubines in which his wide was scornfully aware and had to bare. They would have their mistresses living in the same castles or empire a their wife. Though not on such a grand scale common men generally had extra marital relationships as well. A woman could not even enquire as to her husband conduct outside of her presence. To further harden the blow if a woman were even remotely believed to possibly be cheating on her husband he had the right by law to take her life. By fear women were kept as miserable possessions. Marriages were often social contracts that only the wife had to live by. As all of this information lingers the unanswered question still remains “Why do men cheat?
When you are a young girl or a teenager you start to learn the labeling or stereotypes rather about the type of women that there are and can be. You can be: A Lady, An “Old Maid”, or a Whore/Hoe. From then on the pressure for a girl to uphold a certain level of personal responsibility is on. Men on the other hand are not given such pressure. They often times are encouraged to be careless in their mating habits and are not given the pressure of personal responsibility. Why is that? Is it possible that society has created a certain level of control on the population by giving pressure to one gender and not the other? What does that control, control? When does it become the responsibility of society at large, to check its issues i.e. teen pregnancy, A.I.D.S., other sexually transmitted diseases? Could this indeed be the reason why men cheat?
When in a relationship I find myself more grounded and settled. Not seeking or wanting more. The simple fact that I won’t enter into a relationship unless I believe that for some reason this person is someone I would enjoy as a companion on a higher level than just dating. I like to keep it honest with myself and others, I choose not to relate to someone who I’m Just not that into! When you meet a person you talk to them and get an idea of the type of person they are, what they like and dislike, what they do, and what they desire in the future. In this time period, which can range from a few hours, to a few days, a week, or even months, you learn what you need to know about whether or not you are indeed compatible with this person enough to move up a level or not. So why do men get into relationships with someone they are not fully interested in or compatible with. Is it that we grow apart of that it was apart to begin with? Why marry someone if they don’t make you happy, or laugh, or goofy? Getting into a relationship with some that you’re just not that into, Could this be the reason? Still I wonder why do men cheat?
So with this is mind, men getting into relationships with women that are less than their “dream girls” or someone perfect for them. What happens to a man inside when he enters into a long haul relationship with someone whom (in his eyes) are less that perfect for him? Is this the precise moment where they begin to secretly lust for other women? Do they relize that their dreams were deffered? How and why is it possible for two people, whom at some point saw logic in a marriage and loved each other enough to get married, suddenly decided that they’d rather be with someone else intimately. Isn’t this one of the precise reasons for marriage… intimacy?
Sometime when we get married we get tired of having sex with the same person or just having sex period. This is just as true for women as it is for men. Most women decide to stay in the relationship and stay faithful, simply deciding not to have sex when tired of having sex. However many men do not take the same actions, they just cheat! Is it because wives aren’t “putting out” or is it because men don’t want to ask? It would certainly be much easier to say “I want to have sex” than to cheat. It certainly seems to me that cheating is a personal option. Do they feel that they have right to have sex with another woman when they want to? Do they think about feeling on both sides or are men just out of sync with themselves, simply out of control? Am I just naive or are men just so weak that they can’t control their own minds or body parts? Do they know that this logically concludes that men simply can’t control themselves? Is it even natural for men or women for that matter to live in monogamy? Will there ever be a society that can live without a party in the marital union being just another option. Why oh why do men Cheat?
Written By Shaqualah S.C. 12/8/2012
Published 12/9/2012
Copyright © 2012
I believe men cheat when they feel that the woman will take them back or there won’t be any consequences. A man and a woman should be held equally accountable for their actions. When allowances are made for something so detestable, you set yourself up to be cheated on again and again. Women give away too much power. When your self- esteem is intact, men will eat out of your hands.
I love that. I totally agree! As an update from this post… I separated with my husband for almost a year. Then and only then did he realize that I didn’t need him in my life. That sent him on a mad dash to get it together. So when you say “Women give away too much power. When your self- esteem is intact, men will eat out of your hands.” it’s absolutely right…. But we also have to remember not to misuse whatever power we may have as well. Thanks for your comment!