Today I decided to watch a little Television. While flipping through different shows of interest from my guide I came across Catfish: The T.V. Show on MTV. If you don’t already know this show takes people who have fallen in love with a man or woman they met on the internet(Namely facebook) to meet the person to which they have fallen in love with. These relationship are generally with someone long distance. So of course to meet your true love you must be whisked away to some unknown land to meet this mystery person.
So the episode I watched today was of a young woman name Trina a now former exotic dancer who met Scorpio also an exotic dancer, on facebook and fell in love. It was a match made in… A “Strip Club?!?!” So when the opportunity was presented to meet this fellow, to whom she had grown quite fond of, she gladly accepted. So the host of the show then proceeds to do research and set up the meet with Scorpio on the phone. This is when he, the show host, finds out that Scorpio had lied to the Trina about a few semi major things. After which the host prepares Trina by giving her a few tidbits of new information about her love. When asked again if she wanted to proceed she again answered in the affirmative.
Long story short this mystery man was completely different from “Scorpio” she thought she had known(physically at least), however they were still able to converse in the same comfortable my best friend way. They also still had strong feelings for one another despite the illusions that were previously believe by Trina about Scorpio. Even still Trina decided based on the new info (which was that he had 4 children and he was a heafty man, not the bag of 6 pack abs she had believed) that she would let this be a life lesson and move on, continuing to be Scorpio’s “friend” of course.
When announcing this decision she made a statement to the effect of “I guess I will just have to wait for the man of my dreams.”
This statement was the single point of inspiration for this article.
What does the “Man of My Dreams” really equate to in real life? When we are little girls they sell us dreamy stories about princesses and carriages and the most perfect dream man with a 12 pack abs and weddings and homes etc. They give you the fantasy version of life, forgetting that children are prone to believe what they see and hear, so they wait for it to happen. But in real life everyone is not a princess, and all weddings aren’t as grand as Cinderella’s, there’s no castle (unless you’re rich and famous or of the royal family), and life is not automatically happily ever after.
With all of this in mind it bring the question to mind Is there a “Man of My Dreams” type? Ok more specifically let me explain what I’m thinking.
There are certain qualities in a man or a woman that you undoubtable like want and won’t do without. There are some qualities that you can sacrafice for others. Generally women are less shallow than men when it comes to love. Women are more likely to accept and man who is not the most handsome if he has a great personality, by her standards.
Let’s Take it Back….
I have been married now for 6 almost 7 years. I met my husband on the Sprint Chat line on the internet back in 2002. He said he like my screen name :~) After finding out that we had the same interest in music, and great conversation we decided to keep talking. My husband and I proceeded to talk regularly and get to know each other, on the phone. When we lost contact for a year or two he sent me a letter which was forwarded from my old California address to my then St. Louis address. We began talking once again. After moving back to California for a short while, he talked me into taking a trip to visit him in florida, it turned out to be a permanent visit.
My husband and I have always had great conversation, we can always laugh together, talk about current events, talk politics, and still pass the joint! (LOL) But my husband is not perfectly perfect. Like Scorpio from Catfish my husband also happens to be heafty man…. My
husband is a big guy, but he loves me, like really really loves me. He makes me laugh (I Love that) he even helps with the dishes (only after 5 years of nagging:~), he doesn’t lie to me (anymore), he’s even willing to try new things with me, and he has greatand a great smile, oh and he doesn’t cheat. I just explained my dream man minus the 6 pack and a voice like usher. (He does rap though.)
It took me sacraficing the few things that I didn’t so much care for but didn’t feel it was the only thing I needed, for the
things that really mattered to me. Although there were a lot of bumps in the road (what marriage doesn’t have them) he’s turning out to be exactly what I want and need. So ultimately if you can be happy with someone who isn’t Usher, Morris Chestnut, or Tom Cruise which by the way most of them have had a marriage or two why can he not be the
“Man of Your Dreams” in the End?
We as women have to be realistic. Would you rather have someone who lies to you, cheats on you, but has a 6 pack. Or would you be willing to sacrifice the 6 pack for someone who doesn’t cheat on you or cause you grief for your whole life? I have been through many of these issues in my own marriage and I have come to realize that you will have issues, mistakes… unforgivable mistakes will be made, but if he or you are willing to make personal sacrifices to make the other happy you can move forward, learn and grow from those mistakes.
Are you willing to understand that Dreams have to be made worked at and for. People will make mistakes, people may lie and or cheat, sometimes your not going to get your full dream deal, but you may learn that to get to the man of your dreams you might have to work with him or allow him to grow as you grow together or you can wait it out until you find your dream man packaged and ready! However You will still find some bumps because people change just a little bit once they have to coexist with each other. You have to grow together. I’m still working on some of my own issues trying to figure out if the man I thought was the man of my dreams is really a nightmare! Just have to weigh my options.
These are just my personal inner thought as I work through life changes and situations; here’s my 2 cents on “The Man of My Dreams” I am by NO MEANS saying settle, I’m just saying weigh your options and choose your battles wisely… Or you might end up alone!
S.S Glamour143 ©
Written: 12/13/2012
Published: 12/20/2012